Connected

This is a word I’ve been contemplating today:

Biological Connection with family – feeling like a part of you is missing if they are not around. So many times I’ve taken mine for granted. Not today. My heart aches for two little girls who have lost their baby sister this week – they will always carry a piece of her in their hearts. I read Lindsey’s post this week about supporting her daughter who is growing up so fast. Kristen at Motherese talked about connecting with her daughter in her Connected post (sorry that I stole the title Kristen-I forgot 😦 ) – Both reminded me how quickly they will be grown up and how much we hope for them. I have not been spending enough time connecting with them and shame on me for taking them for granted.

Love Connection with your spouse – I have been “neglecting” mine; both going in different directions with “busy-ness”. “Two ships passing in the night” sometimes.  A new blogger friend Shannon_O at Confessions of a Loving Wife reminded me of an important fact this week: needing to spend quality time together. The discussion that followed involved being “there”; being “present” when you are with your spouse, no matter how much or where that time is spent.

Online Connections: My new online friends and adventures. Elizabeth Potts Weinstein and Allison Nazarian and the awesome #epicchat that I try to participate in on Wednesday evenings. Twitter friends and blogger friends that I never seem to have enough time for, but desperately want to get to know better.

I feel connected with them because of the great conversations that we have. To know that so many are thinking about the same things, writing about being true to themselves, wanting to have epic lives! It is just an amazing feeling and I want more of it! I am inspired and called to action when “hanging out” online! I want to be connected more with great people like these!

Constantly needing to be connected to the computer or the phone or the computer or the phone (oh, I said that twice, didn’t I?) – I am constantly checking one or the other because of my need to be connected! I have to see who said what and when! Is that a bad thing? Am I addicted? I’m torn.

I spend so much time “connecting”, yet when I go “offline” like I have A LOT these past two weeks, I feel lost. I feel left out. I feel anxious. I need to read my favorite blogs. I need to write. I need to think about those words that I’ve read, points to ponder. I found those words in my online presence, but worry about the effects this has in my IRL relationships.

I crave working on our new business (that I’ve been neglecting in my trying to be more “offline” lately). I crave it! I want so much to build a community with our site, to create a place where like-minded people like us can go and be connected! Yet, it takes so much time away from other things!

Krystal and I talked (a.k.a. IM’ing each other) today about setting specific days in a month for working on certain things. To avoid the guilt feelings, actually scheduling family time when we are present, not 1/2 there, 1/2 secretly checking FB or our site. Be present in the days that we schedule to work. Focus on the business and not the family stuff. We’ll give them our time on their days, but they have to understand that we need our time too. If we schedule it, maybe that will help everyone understand.

I can schedule my “connected time” online so that I won’t feel guilty about being on the computer while my husband paces the floor. He will also know when I will be available and when I’m not. Then he can fill that time with something for him. We can then enjoy our quality time together. Again, I won’t be wondering what tweet just happened on my computer when I’m talking to him. I will be present with him, instead of one eye on a screen.

That’s the plan. Schedule my connected time. Online and Offline. I don’t like being alone. I like being connected in many different ways. I just need to find that balance so that I can be connected and present with whoever I’m trying to connect to at that time.

How do you find balance among all the things you’re trying to do? Let me know in the comments!

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7 thoughts on “Connected

  1. Great post.

    The never ending quest for balance, perhaps one day we’ll get there.

    “That’s the plan. Schedule my connected time. Online and Offline.”

    I love your idea of scheduling your time and communicating the schedule, perhaps I should give that a try.

    Please keep us posted and let us know how that works for you.

    Thanks so much for the link love.

    1. Thanks Shannon! I certainly will! Enjoy your tea and have a great sleep (I’ve been twitter-stalking!) 🙂

  2. Shawna – This topic is going around. Seems we are all thinking about being more connected with those near us and a bit less with those over the internet.

    I do think there is a place for both but – and I hate the word – balance is hard and achieving it on a regular basis is near impossible. Think of the high wire guy. He has help with his balance and years of practice. We don’t want to practice. We want it to happen – like the squirrel who skitters across a wire on all fours but, of course, we do not want to be on all fours.

    You will do well in this effort as you do in all of your efforts. Just remember anything new or different takes practice.

    1. I totally get it Nicki! I have always been anxious for new things to just WORK for me right away! I’m slowly learning patience, but…. 🙂 and I wonder where my daughter gets it from!? LOL!

      I will keep practicing and keep trying to find that “balance”!

  3. Hi Shawna,

    As you know, this topic is very much on my mind lately. I have been doing well with my Digital Diet and making a schedule has really helped, as has having periodic chats with my husband to see how he feels about the amount of time we have for each other each week.

    With two little ones at home and each with busy professional lives, sometimes I feel like we forget to honor our “connection” to each other. But since we’ve been doing our periodic check-ins, we make much more time for both the little stuff and the big stuff.

    1. That’s good news Kristen! I guess we need to remember when the kids are grown up and we’ve retired from our crazy professional lives, we don’t want to look over at this person we married and wonder who the heck he is! We need to take that time now, like you are with your check-ins. Mine has begun pacing around when I’ve over-spent my computer time. I’m getting better at recognizing that and close the laptop screen and go and hang out with him!
      We were just talking last night about both of us working out a schedule this weekend. I’ll keep you posted about how it’s going!

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