Yes – A Four Letter Word

Hi, my name is Shawna and I have a problem.

I say “Yes”.

A lot. All the time. To everyone. Without thinking. Ever.

I am completely incapable of saying “No”.

It may have variations such as: “Sure”, “No Problem”, “Definitely”, “Oh, You Noticed the Double-Dumbass Sticker on My Forehead – Of Course I’ll Get That Done Too!”

Now that it’s out there, I’m probably going to get 10 more things to add to the To-Do list because I couldn’t say “No”; “they” know that I’m a total push-over.

I should have realized this problem a couple years ago, when one of the GUYS (yes, guys) that I work with gave me a book called, “The Book for People Who Do Too Much”. Shoulda been a sign….

I have written about this problem before…how I want to do everything and BE everything to EVERYONE. I just have such a hard time understanding limitations and time limits and the fact that there are only 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week. Is there? I really didn’t notice…why didn’t someone tell me?

They do say that the first step to recovery is to know that there is a problem. I know now that there is. I am now accountable to all of you, faithful readers, to find a way to say, “No”. I ask for your help and reminders that No, I cannot possibly do everything. I don’t have to. I am not superwoman. She does not exist.

Thank you all for your support in my journey to making “Yes” a word that is no longer a dirty word (unless used in the bedroom – see previous post “Surrender“)

* this is my 101st Post, and my last one for Five For Ten @momalom!

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11 thoughts on “Yes – A Four Letter Word

  1. My neighbor is just the same way. Never says no, but then gets completely stressed out and overburdened. I told her to look in the mirror and practice saying “no” til it sounds natural. Muscle memory and all that. Just know that you have value, your time is just as important as theirs. And just say no!

  2. I used to be a “yes woman.” And then I discovered that my world doesn’t shatter when I utter the word, “no.” It took me all of 40 years to come to that conclusion but I’m living proof that “no” is not as devastating as many believe. 😉

  3. Something to think about not 😉 only a suggestion

    Often saying no deep down comes with the idea that in some way you will not be appreciated or accepted, or people will not like me either professionally/personally or god forbid think your cant do “it” and see failure.

    Often its not the saying no that is the problem…that’s is just the surface response to a much deeper rooted acceptance on ones self, constantly seeking their own acceptance for themselves through the next shining moment. This creates a victim potion and when something is accomplished you instantly become the winner and for a moment everything in life is going great but that don’t last long hence you deeply internally want the next thing (insert cycle) lol.

    I would suggest the better question to ask yourself is why I play the role of people’s victim and poor me who cant say no..to saying how can I become the boss both internally and out so that people stop coming to me and asking for things to get done…and rather come to me and ask what can I do for you.

    I only suggest that its a internal deeper view of yourself, be a leader or a follower you choose 😉

  4. 101st post! Yeah!!!

    From a former yes-a-holic, I applaud you on searching for balance. Yes! is wonderful and leads to a lot of joy, but NO has its place, too. NO can be a beautiful word.

  5. I share this affliction too. (And your post got me thinking about the extent to which this is a predominantly female phenomenon and, if so, why.)

    I remember reading somewhere – wish I could remember where – that, before you say Yes, to think about everything else you are tacitly saying No to. And that helps me sometimes (when I remember to actually stop and think before leaping in). I’m getting a little bit better about protecting my time with my kids, saying No to things that will compromise family time. But it’s hard once you’ve become conditioned to saying Yes all the time.

  6. You sound like an amazing person. To open yourself up and give so freely.

    I am the opposite, I am a NO person for most everything.

    Out of fear.

    Good luck in your journey to change.

  7. I am a yes person too. I always have been. Of course as a child I would be defiant ehrn it came to chores and such but I remember biking to the store on a Saturday morning to get milk so that mom didnt have to go and get it. I am also a bend over backards so that i can offer, or help kind of person, added with my cant say no dealo I was having some issues too. I agree with Kristian and I have noticed that if I think before I offer or just blurt out yes of all the things I will be giving up if I say yes, it helps. I have got a lot better at saying no, especially since the hubby started working away. Thanks Shawna so much for your pov and for sharing your feelings on the subject.

  8. Good for you. Put the Yes on the back burner, and look forward to post #201. 🙂 Yes. You. Can. (Do only what you want. Ha.)

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