Sometimes I wonder at my dense, thick skull! I thought of the movie/book Eat, Pray, Love where Liz talks to God on her bathroom floor and receives an answer almost immediately. And where Richard from Texas says to her that if she’d just clear the stuff out of her mind; the Universe would just RUSH into all that space. Her capacity to love the whole world would just take over. How I’ve read and heard that message so many times from so many places; yet it still is so easy to forget. To just ASK for help! and then let go, move forward and see what happens.
It wasn’t 5 minutes after I finished whining in my post yesterday that I began receiving answers. A facebook shared story from a friend about a very young mother who died just one week after her baby was born and got to hold her before she died had me shaken at my desk. How small all those questions about my job became in an instant. How my worries about getting things organized for when I’m not there seemed so ridiculous. I might not be there tomorrow! What difference would it make? I am completely replaceable, just another employee. They would not miss me. My legacy is not there.
It is in the timely text from the husband who had no idea about the state I was in when he sent a spontaneous text just to say “I love you”.
It is in the friends and family that came to my office, called, texted, emailed, commented, posted and sat at my kitchen table reminding me how very blessed I am to be surrounded by people that love me. All advised me, all cared, all are there, I just have to ask.
It is in the ache in my calf muscles after a fun, giggly evening of trying something new – learning to dance with my husband.
It is in hanging out with friends, sharing laughs and a beverage or two at my kitchen table like so many times before, yet still the best place to be.
It is falling asleep in my lover’s arms, safe and warm while the wind blows outside and a snow storm threatens.
It is in the early Saturday morning coffee surrounded by my children quietly drawing and reading and watching Discovery Channel.
I asked. I received. I am so very thankful.