Reflecting on Forty

Tonight, I’m thinking about my fortieth year. What did I do right? What mistakes did I make? Did I grow? Change? Most of all, did I live?

Some mistakes:
– I still worry too much about some people not “approving” of the way I am.
– Sometimes I’m impatient with the Universe and the Wait
– I care too much about things/people that don’t need me.
– I have a hard time letting them go. I get frustrated with trying to “fix” them/it and sometimes I just can’t.
– I waste my gifts sometimes; let days pass me by; leave “I love you’s” unsaid

The Good Stuff
– Most days I laugh; love and live. I notice the color of the sky and the sounds of birds
– I am less afraid of taking the chance; of relaxing and “going with it”
– I tell them I love them, even when it sounds dumb
– my clothes are smaller and I feel better about me

I’ve met so many people this year. Our biz is growing and really starting to be what we want it to be. I’m excited about the way my life has been changing.

As a family, we’ve connected more in experience rather than things. We explored Great Falls and Fairmont and our own backyard! Our home is messy sometimes, but more organized and peaceful and fun!

What is to come this year? Some days, I really wish I had a crystal ball; others, I enjoy the challenge – even the fear is different now.

I have learned I’m not alone. There are so many out there – just like me. Scared. Excited. Making mistakes. Doing great things. Doing not so great things.

Woman. Wife. Mother. Friend. Daughter. Sister. Aunty. Co-worker. Dreamer. Party Girl. Lover. Laugher. Still a mystery to me.

I’m a little mixed up as I write tonight. Some days I wonder why I do. I wonder why I say these things. I don’t have much to contribute. I feel unworthy of my readers.

But then I remember why I started in the first place. To heal myself. To learn about me. To see with my own eyes how truly blessed I am. How much the Universe smiles on me.

I am loved. I am worthy. I am not perfect. I’m better than that. I am flawed and silly and quirky and mediocre at so many things. But I am the BEST at one thing: being ME

Thank you my friends who take the time to read my ramblings. Thank you for being here and letting me be me. I am so lucky and I have learned so much from you. I have learned that 40 is just the beginning! Thank you so much!

Let’s have another 40 years of Crazy:

3 thoughts on “Reflecting on Forty

  1. Happy Birthday Shawna!
    You inspire me much more than you can know 🙂
    Sunshine, hugs & laughter to you,

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