What can I gain by gentleness today?
That’s the question I’m to reflect on today. The first thing that came to my mind is that it’s easy to be gentle to the ones I love. Well, most days anyway….Now that makes me think about all of the times I’ve yelled and scolded and tried to “force” kids and husband and friends to do what I want them to do:
- Tried to force my kids to pick up their stuff by yelling, threatening, using guilt to make the feel like they have to.
- Tried to force my husband to listen by not letting him go during an argument.
- Tried to force my friends to like me by trying to be more like them and do what I think they want me to do.
So, let’s rethink that first thought of gentleness…what can I accomplish today without yelling, nagging, guilting? How can I show gentleness to those that I find it difficult to be around (I don’t want to say the word “enemy”, because they really are not an “enemy”…that’s a little harsh). It’s more difficult for me to refrain from saying something about those kinds of people….
…and so the day went on….
Looking back…Testing my gentleness:
- I was the 1st one up, but the 3rd to shower = cold/lukewarm shower! I found it very hard not to curse my eldest who soaked it all up…why is he still living here? Then I felt bad for thinking like that…
- I left for work, put my coffee on the roof of my car as I juggled my stuff to get the door opened…it tipped and of course I spilled coffee down my back window…lovely, now I have to wash my car…oh, but they’re calling for rain…
- First few emails of the day…I found myself deliberately avoiding a potential meeting with someone that I (and many people) want to avoid…hmmmm….tough to say or even think anything nice…
- Found several more of the usual “irritations” at work that had me reacting in negative ways like gossiping or saying mean things about people that I really don’t know that well, so really shouldn’t even comment…
- Patience left me as I slammed the door on my daughter as we rushed to a baseball game that I was sure was going to get rained out. More driving and more waiting around for her. No words were spoken in the car…by either of us…
- I left her and her friend to get warmed up for the game while I gazed wearily at the clouds and cursed the weather again as I drove off to get a bottle of water (which we’d forgotten to bring)….
Sometimes it’s so hard to be gentle! Just reading about your day, I understood. And yes, you also need to be gentle with yourself–we’re all just treading water, trying to make better choices when we can. xo