It was almost two years ago, 2010, when I was working on my Happiness Project. I wrote a love letter to all my children that February. My daughter’s is here Today, she is one year away from being a teenager. In reality, she already is…My mother warned me, they grow up so very fast.
I sit here this morning, listening to you and your little brother playing. My heart is so full, my children are my whole world, yet there will be a time when I’ll have to let you go. A time not too far away and my heart aches with the thought. Your big brother is almost 21 and talks now of going away to school. I’ve been hoping for him to be inspired, yet at the same time, I don’t want to let him go…And all too soon, sooner than him, I’m sure, you will be flying around the world on some sort of adventure…and I will worry and I will cry, but my heart will sing too because you have so much to offer the world and the world is waiting for you.
We laughed the other day when we were talking about how you were born already grown up! There was no fitting into newborn clothes for you! And hair! You were born needing a haircut! Thick, dark hair made all those nurses fall in love with you instantly. Your father cried; sobbed, really. The first time I’d ever see him do that. I had warned him that he would…that he would fall in love and be completely mush from that day on…and I was right!
I remember sleeping with you, long and stretched out on my chest. There was no curling up for you either – those long legs wanted to be stretched out and dancing even then. You didn’t cry much, but gurgled and coo’ed often. Singing those girl songs like you were yesterday in the shower. I love waking up to your voice.
You have a special place in the hearts of everyone that loves you. As Great Grandma wrote to you last year, “Dear Becca, I admire you as you are a very nice well mannered girl. You are pretty and smart….” and she was certainly right. You miss your Great Grandma and sleep every night with the quilt she made for you when you were a baby. I’ve folded it and put it away and it keeps ending up on your bed. You love spending time with your Grandma, my mom, and she can’t get enough of you. The three of you were the ladies that I always wanted to be like. I’ve never been much of a feminine person, but the three of you always made me feel part of the “club”. I cherish the times that the four generations of us got to be together. I’m sure you’ll cherish them too.
You have those brothers and daddy wrapped around your little finger. They will do anything for you, especially when you pour on your “pouty face”. They can’t stand to see you upset…and promptly give you anything to make you smile again. I just shake my head and laugh. It hasn’t spoiled you though. You would give your last meal to someone else if they needed it. For one so young, you are so very generous. You have given your brothers money, your last piece of chocolate (even when it is your one vice) and all your love and affection.
Our walls are covered with your works of art and I have boxes of treasures that you’ve created. Your multiple projects makes me smile because I can so relate. You and I love to create and make things! It drives your father crazy because we’ve always got things on the go! It’s because we are butterflies, we want to spread beauty everywhere for everyone to see! 😉 That’s what I always say anyway!
Last night, we were helping out at a fashion show and you couldn’t get enough of it. You would rather do things like that with adults than hang out with your friends. It wasn’t so much being around fashion (though you love that!) it was more about you getting to be in the thick of it. It’s funny how grown up you are already. One thing I noticed, other people that were there didn’t really treat you like a kid; you fit right in alongside everyone there helping out. Stuff needed to get done, and you just got in there and did it.
As you sit with your brother and have chocolate cake for breakfast, I smile because you’re still a little girl sometimes. I take a snapshot in my mind to remember. And I send a quiet prayer to heaven asking for you to always remain that way…