“It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us…”
I know sometimes I’m too much. I try too hard. I talk too much and too loud. I’m tired of shrinking. I’m tired of making myself small so that I don’t stand out. I’m tired of keeping quiet.
There once was a girl who stood up for what she believed in. To the point where some people didn’t like her. This girl believed she could do whatever she wanted. That nothing could stand in her way. But then, she made a mistake and she got afraid. Afraid to try. Afraid to start again. She felt like she needed to fit in; just do what she was supposed to. It was safe. It was easier than fighting the current. She was afraid that no one would accept who she really was. And so she hid. She pushed all of her art, all of herself down, DOWN…deep within her so that it wouldn’t scare anyone off. She desperately tried to please everyone until the girl inside had shrunk so small it was hard to see her.
The light dimmed.
I’ve been afraid to let my light shine. Afraid that it will dim the lights of others. It is so much easier just to keep the light hidden. To be less of who I am so that no one will be uncomfortable around me. I won’t “chase” anyone off if I’m just like everyone else. No one likes to be left out. So I chose to just fit in.
And the light dimmed.
There have been times where that little girl stood up. Where I let my light shine. It did make people uncomfortable. It got me in trouble. It made me stand out and not everyone liked me. It hurt. It hurt that I was misunderstood. I told myself – not again – I’m not doing this again – I’m not shining anymore, I’ll just keep it cool and everyone will be happy with me. Everyone will like me. And so I smile and nod.
And the light dimmed.
Well, you know what? I’m not getting any younger. Some shit has happened to me and I’ve made a lot of mistakes. And still some people don’t get me. I’m starting to realize that’s OK. I see my children being who they are. Unafraid. Not content with blending in. In them, I see that little girl I used to be. I don’t want my children to become who I became. I want to see their light shoot across the Universe, never fading.
They are so special. It’s about time I realized how special I am too. I’m not perfect. My light is sometimes some crazy colors and even a little shaky; even a little dim some days. I will be loud. I will be too much because that’s who I am. I’m shining my light the way I need to shine.
I’m going to help thousands of women stand up and be heard. I’m going to help them find their light and shine for all of us to see. Women will change corporations & companies. Women will create businesses around connection & love. Women will change communities & countries. Women will change the world with their big hearts, big dreams and big souls. I know this to be true. I see it in every woman I know. I see it in the stranger as she approaches me on the street. It’s there in her eyes. I’m going to help her see it too.
And the light will NOT be dimmed. Not anymore.
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Our Deepest Fear – Marianne Williamson.