Lent Day 35 and 36

The sun came out today! My pre-noon “chinook” headache told me that the weather would rapidly change today. Sure enough, it did! Melting like crazy, shining on my face! Misty midnight, be gone! LOL!

I’m feeling great today! I feel like I’m getting things done and I’m excited about things to come! I heard yesterday that my Dad is busy working on a little project that I suggested to him about a new sewing table/desk made from the door of my old room. If anyone can pull something like that off, my Dad can! Plus, he’s retired and I think was looking for a project! LOL! Thanks Dad! You’re the BEST!

Yesterday, I worked out at the gym. Today, was rest day (one of the College coaches caught me doing lunges yesterday, so she came over to give me some pointers. She’s from Russia, a gorgeous athletic woman who knows her stuff! Let’s just say she pushed me to work a little harder than I’ve been doing! Wow! Sore legs!)

Weigh-In Wednesday today!!

Day 1 – 176 lbs

Day 8 – 172 lbs

Day 15 – 172 lbs

Day 22 – 168 lbs

Day 29 – 167 lbs

Day 36 – 166 lbs – the digital read was flitting between 165 and 166! Holy moly!!

I am thrilled with the way I’ve been feeling being without refined sugar. And now the conversations and planning that my family (especially my hubby) and I have been doing to make some real changes in the way we eat PERMANENTLY make me so proud of us! We have learned so much and are learning and living healthier lives because of it!

Gramma, you would be proud of us observing Lent and learning about each other along the way. I kinda think that’s what Lent is all about. Learning more about the sacrifice that Jesus made for us so that we can learn more about loving so much that any sacrifice is worth it. I ❤ my Family! 🙂

Tuesday Menu:

Breakfast: I had a piece of toast with natural peanut butter and fresh juiced orange juice (we love our juicer! LOL!)

a.m. snack: Greek yogurt, blackberries and hemp

Lunch: Strawberry and spinach salad with raspberry vinaigrette and some chicken breast.

p.m. snack: banana

Supper: spaghetti – whole wheat pasta

 

Wednesday Menu:

Breakfast: Bruce made me one of those thin bagel egg, bacon & cheese sandwiches

a.m. snack: soy milk latte that I decided to try…not bad. Kristi says “eewwww” (that was hilarious!)

Lunch: chicken breast. greek yogurt and some strawberries and hemp

p.m. snack: skipped this today – totally lost track of time!

Supper: chili made from some dry “raw” beans that Bruce picked up at Costco today – he’s finding some interesting healthy foods there lately. I’m a little concerned since I prefer to shop local. However, he is trying to help…

Cheers to healthier eating my friends! 🙂

Advertisements

Life is Beautiful

It is the first day of Spring 2012, here in Olds, Alberta.

I rushed along, stuck behind someone who thought the speed limit through town is 20KPH, late and no parking spot and so many things demanding my time. I felt the cold on my hands where my forgotten gloves should have been. My body aches from yesterday’s tough workout and my sluggish brain complains of the lack of caffeine that my sleeping in resulted in from only one latte today…

There are many things to grumble about, there are many changes to be afraid of, there are many things that don’t go the way I’d planned. And yet…I have it all:

1. My beautiful family who give me reason to press on

2. A warm bed and loving husband in a house in a quiet neighbourhood where my family is safe

3. Parents who allowed me to spread my wings and fly wherever my heart takes me

4. Friends who love me the way I am, who are always there when I fall

5. A job that lets me do what I do best: help people, every day

6. My body that is strong and able to feel the cold and the sore muscles because I am alive and well

7. Dreams that may seem crazy to some but I believe in them anyway

8. A hope and faith that there are so many more special moments and days ahead of me
I read an email early today that said: “Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house … kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness.” ~ Mother Teresa and then I saw this video:

All of these thoughts came flowing out of my heart and I had to write. I had to share. Regardless of the consequences. I just had to share in whatever way I can.

Life IS beautiful…We have it all

Lent Day 23

Winding down for the night…gotta go and pick up my sweetheart from work in a couple minutes…

Today, we said goodbye to my faithful old car. We dropped her off at the auto-wreckers. We had a lot of travels together! I also had a wonderful evening with my “Be the Change Circle” ladies. So inspired, so connected!

I was up at 5:15 this morning (no alarm clock) so my body has finally figured out the time change. I had a great yoga session and spent some time focusing this morning. The day zoomed by; split up by a tired 3K run at noon (I’d forgotten my snack, so I was a little sluggish)

I thought of my Gramma today as Johnny Reid popped into my head with “Today I’m Gonna Try and Change the World”. I sure do miss being able to fix her computer and have a coffee with her. I miss inviting her over for lasagna (one of her faves). I know she’s there, cheering me on, reading my words like she always did…

A good day to end with a quiet meditation, prayer and blessed sleep next to my true love.

Menu:

Breakfast: homemade oatmeal

Lunch: (missed my snack) 1/2 gypsy salami sandwich on whole grain

p.m. Snack: two friends gave me delicious home made, refined sugar free energy bits/bars that they each had made! YUMMERS! Thanks K and L! You guys saved me today!

Supper: Lucas really wanted tacos – it was his turn again, so that’s what we had.

I Can Feel It

I can feel it…

Sometimes it feels like I’m racing towards a cliff and the brakes don’t work…and I kinda don’t want them to.

Sometimes it feels like I’m trudging across a desert; up and down over dunes – no horizon, no end in sight- just the constant heat and unending desert, and I just want to collapse and let the sand take me.

Sometimes it feels like I climb over one obstacle only to have another crash down in front of me, bigger than the last and I clench my jaw and feel the tears come.

Sometimes it feels like I’m drowning in a raging river; my battered, exhausted body slamming over and over again into the rocks and I think about how it would feel to just slip under.

But….

I can feel it…

Sometimes it feels like the open road stretches in front of me; I cannot see my map, but I know it is there and I feel the wind in my hair and the anticipation in my heart.

Sometimes it feels like I can see the summit of the mountain and hear the soaring birds call my name; urging me forward and I feel myself take flight and join them.

Sometimes it feels like I’m walking through the dense forest, but its quiet settles my pounding heart and I press forward toward the light that beckons me.

Sometimes it feels like I’m on a stage with so many faces turned to me; listening, waiting, needing my voice and I am inspired to sing to them.

I can feel it…

The changes

The peace

The gratitude

The faith

The love

My Little Girl

Shooting for the Moon

It was almost two years ago, 2010, when I was working on my Happiness Project. I wrote a love letter to all my children that February. My daughter’s is here  Today, she is one year away from being a teenager. In reality, she already is…My mother warned me, they grow up so very fast.

I sit here this morning, listening to you and your little brother playing. My heart is so full, my children are my whole world, yet there will be a time when I’ll have to let you go. A time not too far away and my heart aches with the thought. Your big brother is almost 21 and talks now of going away to school. I’ve been hoping for him to be inspired, yet at the same time, I don’t want to let him go…And all too soon, sooner than him, I’m sure, you will be flying around the world on some sort of adventure…and I will worry and I will cry, but my heart will sing too because you have so much to offer the world and the world is waiting for you.

We laughed the other day when we were talking about how you were born already grown up! There was no fitting into newborn clothes for you! And hair! You were born needing a haircut! Thick, dark hair made all those nurses fall in love with you instantly. Your father cried; sobbed, really. The first time I’d ever see him do that. I had warned him that he would…that he would fall in love and be completely mush from that day on…and I was right!

I remember sleeping with you, long and stretched out on my chest. There was no curling up for you either – those long legs wanted to be stretched out and dancing even then. You didn’t cry much, but gurgled and coo’ed often. Singing those girl songs like you were yesterday in the shower. I love waking up to your voice.

You have a special place in the hearts of everyone that loves you. As Great Grandma wrote to you last year, “Dear Becca, I admire you as you are a very nice well mannered girl. You are pretty and smart….” and she was certainly right. You miss your Great Grandma and sleep every night with the quilt she made for you when you were a baby. I’ve folded it and put it away and it keeps ending up on your bed. You love spending time with your Grandma, my mom, and she can’t get enough of you. The three of you were the ladies that I always wanted to be like. I’ve never been much of a feminine person, but the three of you always made me feel part of the “club”. I cherish the times that the four generations of us got to be together. I’m sure you’ll cherish them too.

You have those brothers and daddy wrapped around your little finger. They will do anything for you, especially when you pour on your “pouty face”. They can’t stand to see you upset…and promptly give you anything to make you smile again. I just shake my head and laugh. It hasn’t spoiled you though. You would give your last meal to someone else if they needed it. For one so young, you are so very generous. You have given your brothers money, your last piece of chocolate (even when it is your one vice) and all your love and affection.

Our walls are covered with your works of art and I have boxes of treasures that you’ve created. Your multiple projects makes me smile because I can so relate. You and I love to create and make things! It drives your father crazy because we’ve always got things on the go! It’s because we are butterflies, we want to spread beauty everywhere for everyone to see! 😉 That’s what I always say anyway!

Last night, we were helping out at a fashion show and you couldn’t get enough of it. You would rather do things like that with adults than hang out with your friends. It wasn’t so much being around fashion (though you love that!) it was more about you getting to be in the thick of it. It’s funny how grown up you are already. One thing I noticed, other people that were there didn’t really treat you like a kid; you fit right in alongside everyone there helping out. Stuff needed to get done, and you just got in there and did it.

As you sit with your brother and have chocolate cake for breakfast, I smile because you’re still a little girl sometimes. I take a snapshot in my mind to remember. And I send a quiet prayer to heaven asking for you to always remain that way…

 

 

The Hug

I bury my face in that soft, warm place between neck and shoulders.

I breathe him in.

Strong arms envelope me.

The world disappears.

A whisper only I can hear.

Takes me back to the first one so long ago.

I will miss you.

I will be here when you return.

Arms wide open.

Number 4,367,221 and counting!

Moments to Remember

Moments to remember:

  • Waking up so early that it feels like I’m the only person left in the world; feeling so close to myself that I can hear the beating of my own heart
  • Meeting new people who’s lives have been touched by a terrible disease. People that are so compelled to do something about it that they got up early to be part of the Ride to Conquer Cancer. People that share stories with strangers about someone they love (or even their own) and their battle with cancer.
  • Tears streaming down faces and no one caring who sees them. In remembrance, in anger, in joy, in determination to make a difference
  • Seeing the joy on faces as they make it to camp after that first day; tears and dusty smiles as they practically collapse off their bikes. Being a part of their moment; lending a hand where I can
  • Tasting a cold beer after a long dusty day, laughing and talking like old friends with people I barely know yet are now kindred spirits
  • Feeling a soft bed, even there in a tent on the ground, feels so good after such a day
  • Standing in the mud and rain, ignoring the cold in my hands as I clap them and cheer each and every rider, encouraging them by name to go out there and push through. Strangers become instant friends in the united fight
  • My ball cap dripping rain off the brim, steam rising from the top of my head as I try to dry off a little; feeling guilty because I know they are out there riding in this.
  • I think of those that fight the battle. I hear the reasons why people are here at the Ride to Conquer Cancer. I cry with them, I laugh with them. I am surprised again how much we are all the same.
  • Seeing my dear friend at the finish line, knowing how much her body must hurt, how she climbed those hills pushing through that driving rain. I know how hard it must have been and I know how determined she is. Every ribbon and every name on her shirt a reason for her to refuse to get off that bike.
  • Being so humbled to know amazing people like her. People that have their own battles to fight, yet still they find the strength to do something.
  • I wonder about all the times that I’ve whined and complained. Times when I did not take action. It makes me understand that the only way things (especially ME) can change is by doing something. ANYTHING. Something.
  • Then, when I came home and heard the words, “I missed you so much Mom” and the lump was there again in my throat as I realized that I don’t want them to ever have to hear the awful words “You have cancer” – that’s why I do these things. That’s why everyone was there. For their children and their children’s children
  • And I curl up with that long-legged tween and tousle that goofy boy’s hair; praying that these moments never end. Praying that I will have the strength to DO something. ANYTHING. Each and every day