Give Me Strength

Another one of those days…

I don’t have much to say about it. A lot of big disappointments yet again at work.

Must keep going. My job does not define me.

Thankfully, I have an awesome family and great friends that help me through these times where I question what I am doing there.

Once again, the universe sent a message too. The very first blog I’ve looked at all day, and it is full of wonderful pictures of a place I dream of going to.

Glorious. Absolutely amazing

Funny that my daughter has the same name and a friend is from Scotland….coincidence? Nope.

That’s what I will remember today. I am there to facilitate the dreams I have of going somewhere like in these beautiful pictures.

Headache is now subsiding thanks to these things.

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A rough day…

Well, I let “them” get to me yesterday…

The day started off so bright…the sun shining in my face…seeing my breath in the crisp fall air…enjoying riding my bike to work…and then “the meeting”…I hate meetings.

I haven’t been that angry in a long time. I’m normally better at dealing with it these days because I’ve had a better attitude period. For some reason though, yesterday, I lost it!

I let “them” affect me. I was so tense, so full of venom (that spewed even from my mouth! I hate it when I talk like that!), so full of hurt that I started to cry (I really hate it when I do that).

And I had such a bad headache last night. And an excruciating tight muscle in my shoulder. Both of which I haven’t had in a really long time. Both of which were physical manifestations of my anger.

Who did I hurt with this anger? Certainly not “them”! “They” are still completely oblivious to my feelings because I certainly can’t show it to “them”! I might have lost my job if I said any of that to “them”!

I hurt me! And, I think I hurt my team; I certainly didn’t help them in any way with my words nor my actions.

Thankfully though, I ate Chinese food (a comfort food for me!), spent the evening with my family and slept on it last night. This morning, I sipped my coffee and smiled over my mug at my hubby as we sat for like an hour watching and listening to the little guys play with play doh! Bliss!

There’s nothing like being at home with the ones you love to put it all in perspective. Will anything that happened yesterday mean one damn thing in five years? Hell, even two years?

Nope! It won’t. “They” will keep doing what they are doing over and over. I cannot fix it. No matter how hard I try or how much I want to.

That’s my problem, you see. I want to FIX IT! That’s who I am. Mrs. Fix-It! I am slowly coming to the realization that I can’t possibly fix everything – especially things there. I am slowly learning from my mistakes. It is unfortunate that “they” don’t seem to be.

None of that is in my control though. I can only control my reaction to those situations. I did not control it yesterday.

I am not going to beat myself up about it for days though (like I used to). I am apologizing to my team and then I’m going to move on. My job does not define me. It is not me.

I am this person that loves to help people. That is what I can do and is what I intend to do everyday, whether “they” know it or not, I really don’t care. I care about the “little people” and my team. And that is all that matters.

“They” can pile it on and make all kinds of decisions that I don’t agree with. Whatever. “They” have to live with themselves. I can only do what I can do.

So…guys…I’m sorry for acting like a jerk and a baby!

I will do my job and try to do whatever I can do to help us get through the week. We will help who we can and do the best we can…like we always do 🙂

And my advice to everyone – don’t let “them” get to you. Find your comfort, find ways to relieve the stress. Find out what makes “you, you” and let the rest fall where it may. As I’ve said before, find out what the important things are. Most importantly, take care of Y-O-U! You cannot take care of anyone else until you take care of yourself.

A rough day…no, just another chance for me to learn from my mistakes!

Enjoying the little things

Whew, it’s only Wednesday and it has been another draining week! I was at the point between last week and before today that I thought:

“You know, I just can’t take anymore!”

I was being a Victim! Feeling sorry for myself, really. I was letting things completely out of my control – control ME! I was NOT handling things well at all! I had lost my perspective.

What changed today?

Well, it was still a crazy day, but I tried to focus on what I could do instead of what I couldn’t do. And, I took time to appreciate all the good things that happened  today as they happened:

  1. I made progress on a project that I’m working on that was at a stand still
  2. I was able to help a very pregnant co-worker be able to do her work from home where she could be more comfortable
  3. I had a wonderful picnic lunch with friends that I haven’t seen for awhile
  4. My very handsome hubby made a delicious dinner AND did the dishes for me
  5. My best friend who always seems to know what to say and when to say it, sent me the perfect email to lift my spirits. She is always there.
  6. I went to a meeting where I feel like I’m really contributing to progress
  7. My wonderful husband then made me an AWESOME dessert coffee, ready for me when I got home from the meeting! Complete with fresh whip cream and homemade chocolate sauce and cocoa! WOW

There are many other things, but I won’t go on too much! The point I’m trying to make is, I needed to stop focusing on the one or two unimportant things (that are also out of my control) and focus on the important things.

It’s those little things that turn out to be the truly important things: family, friends, and being true to your heart.

Live, Laugh, Love. and I need to take my own advice! It Feels Like Today.

Sundays

Sundays – the Sabbath. What does that mean?

Many cultures believe that there should be one day of rest; that God rested on the Sabbath. Many go to church on a particular day of the week. It is different for different religions and different cultures.

I have often crammed so much into the two days on the weekend that I’m often exhausted by the end of the weekend! I’m certainly not ready to take on another tough week. Why do we do this to ourselves?

My plan over the past year was to leave Sundays as that day of rest. I believe that it has a very important purpose. Whether you believe in God or organized religion or not. I still believe that everyone should have 1 day per week to rest. Choose whatever day works for you.

It is important to recharge; to reconnect with yourself; do something you love; take care of you. That way, you’ll be able to take on another week with a lighter heart and an open mind.

I have found on those weekends where I’ve let Sunday be just that, I am much better prepared for the week. I actually feel rested.

Sometimes I read, sometimes I play with the kids – like when we made the crazy lego movie recently! Sometimes I just watch movies all day or quilt. I have gone for my long bike rides on Sundays – I love that, especially if I go with a friend. Sometimes I go to Church, especially with my Grandma, that’s the best, we’ve had lots of talks then. Sometimes I sit and play on the computer, like now!

It’s funny how when I need it most, I find something on the computer that inspires me. It may be a song, a website, or an email. When I least expect it, I always stumble upon something that makes me think or makes me feel great!

Today has been a wonderful day. Sure, I’m doing some laundry and I made biscuits and have been doing some tidying up. But, all of those things have brought me joy because I wanted to do them! I am looking forward to fresh linens on the bed tonight! Biscuits are one of our favorite Sunday morning foods, so making them for everyone makes me happy. And tidying up my kitchen ALWAYS makes me feel great!

So, find the joy in those simple things that you do everyday. Use Sundays to focus on those things; take the time. We all have crazy busy schedules. Use one day a week to slow down and count your blessings! You will never regret that!

What was the email that made me think today? It was one from my mom that was a simple link to a beautiful video. My mom isn’t one that says the words “I love you”, but she ALWAYS shows it in many different ways. Like forwarding this link to me.

I hope you enjoy it as well: http://www.thedreamsmovie.com/

It’s the dawn of a new day

This morning I woke up in Kananaskis country, surrounded by mountains and pristine beauty. I’m here for a document management symposium.

I briefly thought about the past week and the difficult times I’ve had personally and professionally. There have been times in the past week or so that I’ve wanted to “throw in the towel”, but I wouldn’t. It’s just not an option.

For all the trials and heart ache life brings us, it brings us greater joy and boundless gifts. This morning, the day is bright and beautiful in the mountains, I’ve got a brain absorbing all this great new info, good food, a nice room to sleep in. I’m healthy and young.

Each day brings us another chance. We get to start over. We get to believe. We get to hope. We get to love. We get to LIVE.

Everyday, find those ordinary miracles. Be thankful for all that you are given. Forgive. Love. Laugh. Live.

Embrace the dawn of a new day.

Working Mom – Something is always missed!

Once again, this morning, the working mom (me!) forgot something! It’s the usual dilemma – focusing on something in your life, something else gets dropped! Or completely forgotten in this case. I’ve been focusing on work and my workouts and the house “stuff” has been a little (read: a lot!) neglected. School papers are absolutely everywhere and nothing is filled in for May (and it’s the 14th!) for the family calendar, so…..couldn’t find the paper dear daughter needed for school and she needed it today and then couldn’t find the cheque book (which ended up being in my purse where it belonged!) Poor hubby was running all over the place trying to find it because I’d gone to work already because there is the email crisis here……sigh! Is it Friday yet??

It is next to impossible to keep all those balls in the air when the working mom is juggling home, work, kids, husband, and herself! Some days, I don’t mind it so much. But…on days like today, it really upsets me. I want to be perfect and I can get REALLY annoyed at myself when I can’t be!

That “perfect” word is the problem here! We were raised by “perfect” moms, so we strive to be the same. However, I think our moms made their share of mistakes too. We just don’t remember because we think our moms are awesome! And, you know what, our kids think that we’re awesome too! We moms are just way too hard on ourselves!

Just remember, working moms and stay at home moms, do what you can every day, give them lots of hugs and kisses and spend time with your husband and by yourself. It will all work out in the end. Life isn’t perfect – it’s messy! That’s what makes it great! If it was perfect….well, man, would that ever be boring!

How much do we rely on Technology?

I for one feel absolutely lost when I don’t have access to it! This morning, we have no email and the file server seems to be a little worse for wear. Surprisely, it has been going relatively well here at the College. Not too many upset people. However, how long will that last?

I have found that when we’ve had various outages in the past, we are usually good for about 1/2 a day. After that, people start to get anxious. So much of what we do every day here is completely reliant on the technology we have. For half a day, we can find other things to do. After that, it depends on what technology is missing.

If email is missing – that lasts for about 1/2 a day – people can make calls or use personal email accounts to communicate. The biggest issue for the first 1/2 of the day is the fact that some people don’t have access to their calendars! That’s hard to figure out which meeting you have!

If voicemail or phones are missing – that can be down for a few days – seems not many people care about the phones. There’s always a cell phone around if you really need to call someone! And if people can’t find you by phone, there’s always email!

If the access to files is down – that is the worst – that is only good for about 5 minutes! This is the day to day work that we all do. If we have enough warning and can grab the files we need, that’s ok – we can work with that. However, if there is a sudden outage (or a “hiccup” as I like to call it) then we have calls and people coming in to the office in a bit of a panic. Understandably – this is the work we are doing every day.

However, as I keep reminding people (including myself) – let’s get our priorities straight here. Yes, there is inconvenience and stress when these things happen. Data loss even can seem like a HUGE deal – and no doubt – to the person it happens to – it IS a HUGE deal. This has happened to everyone in some way or another – sometimes in our control (eg. a mistake we’ve made) or out of our control (eg. a server going down).

But…put this in perspective. No one is going to die or get hurt because of this technological problem. We are not in that kind of an industry where that could happen. At most, it is time (and possibly some $$) lost. But no loss of life or limb. That is the perspective we need.